Hot under the collar

Hot under the collar                                                           

I’m thoroughly fed up with this unremitting hot weather. Mrs Grumpy Gardener loves the sun and keeps telling me to come and sit down. No time. As soon as the sun is off different areas of the garden, I’m out with the hose and watering can.

The vegetable cage is the most difficult because the planted-out brassicas, beans, leeks, courgettes, squash and spinach beet are all desperate for a long, cool drink once the oven is turned off.  It’s a two-hour job every evening and goodness knows what the cost will be on the water meter.

The water snake

The herbaceous border is also tricky because most of the plants do like a drink – but not all of them. And then there is the damage caused by the trailing hose. My silent curses plumb new depths with the performance of the water snake. Not only does it damage plants, but it also kinks and stops the flow of water. I stomp off down the line of the hose to find the cause only to realise, once I have been drenched, that I didn’t turn it off first!

Water lot of effort

The real exceptions to my watery grumpiness are my urns, containers and hanging baskets.  I derive a great deal of enjoyment from them – apart from the Sherpa Tensing slugs that crawl up at least three feet to feast on the content of the urns. It’s the order of the boot for those little perishers.

Watering my urns, containers and hanging baskets is quite different from the rest of the garden. I use a two gallon can without a rose and each Sunday I give them a liquid feed. We have four stone urns along one South-facing low wall plus smaller stone baskets and they all need a prodigious volume of water – every evening in this hot weather.

Bird bites

Then I have to look after my little avian friends. Mrs GG puts out crumbs and finely diced pieces of fat onto the bird tables each morning and I fill the feeders with fat balls, peanuts, tiny little black seeds the name of which I have totally forgotten and sunflower hearts.

Almost all the birds love the latter and we have a wide range of tits, gold and green finches, nuthatches, sparrows and, of course, robins that love them.

Grey matter

Two chief grumps: firstly, the wretched grey squirrels (tree rats) destroy the feeders on average every four or five weeks and then, the more easily remedied bird mess.

Do any readers of this column have any remedies for solving my squirrel problem? What I’d really like is a clear Pyrex feeder that the rascals would not be able to dig their teeth into. Oh for the return of the lovely red Squirrel, Nutkins, of my childhood.

No angry birds

As for the other problem: every fortnight I take the feeders down around lunch time, when the birds don’t seem to be active, and wash them with a mild solution of weak disinfectant. I then dry them thoroughly, refill and hang them back up. At least my garden birds are not grumpy!


Pots and panics

Pots and panics                                                           

Strangely, I don’t mind washing up dishes and saucepans etc. I find it quite rewarding.

There is very little pleasure, however, in washing up very dirty plastic flower pots. I am now completing my planting out and have accumulated almost one hundred very mucky 3” pots.  My wife could not believe her eyes when she came into the walled garden to see me sitting on a low stone wall with a huge bucket of hot soapy water in front of me and an accumulation of clean pots drying out on the wall.

A necessary evil

Tedious and boring though this task is, it really is very necessary. One has no idea of what bugs and germs are living in the accumulations of old compost and rubbish left in side and outside the pots.

Anyway, I felt very virtuous when I stacked the lovely clean pots back in the potting shed for use at some time in the future. So, although there is little pleasure there is some reward.



The worried gardener

I am, however, a worried gardener.  The germination rate of seeds this year was tremendous and I had literally hundreds of plants to prick out and grow on.

But it has been so hot in the greenhouse that they were not progressing. I put as many outside as could be accommodated but on the evening of May 15, I took the risk and started planting brassicas, leek, spinach, beet and chard outside in the vegetable cage.

The reason I’m worried is late frosts, and I still have the runner beans to plant out yet and the squash and courgettes.

Weather beaten?

I have become an avid watcher of the weather on my iPhone to check lowest overnight temperatures. So far it says I’m safe until May 28 and should be OK after that. But it will remain a concern and cause for grumpiness until we are well into June.

We used to live more than 1,000 feet up in the Staffordshire Peak District National Park and I remember well one awful overnight frost on June 12!!

Anyway, having got that off my chest, I’ll go into the kitchen and enjoy washing up the lunch things.

Happy gardening!